So once I moved to Washington DC after university I quickly learned with age came more money and more respect. I also gravitated towards 30 somethings and found they were the type of friends I felt the most connected and inspired by. (now I DO have some pretty awesome friends who are my age too) but this was the first time in my life I had so many that were 10+years older than me. They were smart, successful, confident, well adjusted women. So I naturally could not wait to arrive to this time in my life. And as of last week, I'm finally part of the club and it feels oh.so.good.
A few months ago I came across a wonderful writer named Salena Soo, she is my age and turned 30 a few months before me and wrote the article below. Salena is a writer (among other things). I am not. And since she said everything I wanted to say and BETTER I'm attaching her eloquent article below. It's one of those article where I nod my head on agreement, giggle at some points and shouted "preach it sister" and "amen!" a time or two. Now she started a business... and I'm starting an NGO but apart from that... Soul sistas.
So Preach Selen!
I’m Excited About Turning 30, and
Here’s Why
At the beginning of the year, I decided that I was ready to
start my own business. I was talking to my friend Natalia about my startup and
upcoming birthday when she asked me, “So how do you feel about turning thirty?”
I responded, “I’ve never felt happier. I’m so incredibly excited about entering
this new decade of my life.”
Why Older Is Better
She was shocked, and I understood why. How often do we hear
women say that they are actually looking forward to getting older? In our
culture, attitudes toward aging certainly seem gendered. When a man turns
thirty, it is never viewed as a problem. As women, however, we are told that
our intrinsic value lies in our beauty and our youth.
Unlike most women, I’ve never been self-conscious about my age.
At a recent networking event, someone asked me if I was an intern, which I took
as a compliment. On the flip side, when someone tells me I look older than I am
(which almost never happens), I take it as a compliment as well. My mind
reframes what others might perceive as an insult. I tell myself I must come
across as intelligent and, perhaps, more mature for my age.
Natalia’s surprise about my excitement around turning thirty
made me realize something: I think about age differently than most do. To me,
the more experiences we accumulate, the greater clarity we can have about the
life we really want to live. If each day, we take just one bold step toward
what we truly want, eventually it is possible to create the life of our dreams.
On Being an Entrepreneur
Being an entrepreneur has always been a dream of mine. However,
it was something I continually delayed. “Maybe five years from now,” I would
tell myself. Maybe ten. In my mind, I needed to be perfect in order to be
ready. I needed to have all the answers. But, finally, I realized this truth:
Being an entrepreneur is more about a mindset than a skillset. It’s about
believing so passionately in your work that there is no other option but to do
it. Furthermore, not knowing all the answers can actually be an asset.
As my friend Danielle LaPorte says, “A beginner’s mind is an open
mind, and an open mind innovates.”
Many people, including friends and mentors, have tried to
dissuade me from starting my own business. It’s much safer, they caution, if I
work at an established marketing firm first, move up the corporate ladder, and
then venture out on my own. What if this or that goes wrong? While their points
are certainly valid, deep down in my bones I knew that I was ready. I also knew
that there was no way I could ever succeed by focusing all of my attention on
the worst-case scenario.
Being an entrepreneur has been both a joy and a challenge. I’ve
had moments of extreme confidence as well as moments of sheer terror. I’ve
experienced extraordinary wins as well as painful disappointments. Despite it
all, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m learning more than I could in any
MBA classroom. I’ve never felt more alive.
The Secret About Success
At the age of thirty, what makes me most proud is not any
particular accomplishment, but rather a marked shift in my perception. Today, I
define success differently from how I did in my twenties.
For me, success is not about the end goal or even about the
journey. To me, success is a state of mind. It’s about the optimism and faith
you have in yourself. It’s about the resilience you bring to life’s challenges.
And most of all, success is about quietly tuning into who you are and what you
really want and then taking consistent steps toward those goals.
The old me used to define success by my external
accomplishments. Every day would start at zero; I needed to constantly achieve
things in order to feel good about myself. I was constantly seeking approval.
As I pushed myself to the point of exhaustion on a daily basis, my physical and
emotional health suffered.
Today, the new me is different. The new me understands that
being still and content can be more powerful than the constant act of striving.
The new me understands that, at the end of the day, the only opinion that
matters is my own. The new me understands what I’ve discovered to be my most
powerful truth: that self-care is the foundation of my success.
At its core, self-care is about honoring your needs. For me, my
primary need has always been to do work that I love. I want to use my life to
make a difference, and I want my work to mean something. I’d rather struggle
doing something I love than succeed at doing something that makes me feel
empty.
When I think about turning thirty, I feel like I’ve finally
become the person I’ve always wanted to be. Despite the uncertainty and
challenges of being an entrepreneur, I feel deeply happy, at peace, and, most
of all, alive. Sometimes I feel like pinching myself because I can hardly
believe what I’ve created. Most of all, I feel grateful that I get to wake up
each day and do the thing that I love the most: promoting visionary people and
helping them change the world, one person at a time.
Selena Soo (founder of S2 Groupe) is a business
strategist for personal brands, focusing on marketing and publicity. Her
greatest passion is helping visionary entrepreneurs, experts, and authors reach
more people and change the world. Selena received her MBA from NYU Stern and
her BA from Columbia University. She loves living in NYC, where she throws
champagne networking brunches and teaches her signature course Elevate Your
Brand. For more on Selena, please visit her website or connect with her on
Facebook or Twitter.
