To Blog or Not to Blog that is the question

As many of you know I'm new to this blogging world. It all started with with my trip to the Middle East. I was packed and ready to go with my brand new "real" camera and a heart full of optimism, promising my friends and family that I would capture the heart and soul of the area with not only my photos but also my stories. Many photos and weekend travels have made it onto my blog pages. But...the real, raw, heart wrenching and even published stories have failed to make the cut.

After spending some time here I've had my own internal struggle regarding whether to blog about certain subjects and experiences that I've had during my time here. I have spoken with a few friends and family members regarding this dilemma. There are many reasons why I have chosen to censor my blogging during this time in my life and would rather report back "off the record" so to speak. No, I have not been co-opted by the CIA or the Mossad.

Far from it in fact. I have seen and experienced so much first hand that it is all swirling around in my heart and mind. So when it comes time to express these thoughts and feelings I think of Jack Nicholson in a Few Good Men screaming at me "You can't handle the truth" and maybe I can't. Maybe I can't handle how much my views have changed, how far I've gone from where I started, what others might say or think if I share the "truth" my "truth" my story.

So being a new blogger I turned to my fellow bloggers for some direction. I can't tell you how many days I have spent, what I call, Blog Hopping. Almost more fun than the Bar Hopping of my college years. Definitely more enlightening. One certain Blog that I hopped upon had a very profound quote. A quote from Judith Barrington on the topic of writing a memoir. Now I'm not high on felafel, I KNOW my blog is nothing close to a memoir but something within it rang true. Something about her writing shook me to the bone and I saw my reflection in her words. Perhaps that's why she is an award winning writer and I'm only a struggling blogger. Perhaps but either way here are HER words of advice.

"To write honestly about our lives requires that we work at and refine our artistic skills so that our memoirs can effectively communicate the hard-won, deep layers of truth that are rarely part of conventional discourse. It requires, too, that we grapple with all the ethical questions that arise when we shun commonly accepted definition of loyalty: questions like "can I really tell that story or will it hurt my mother?" By demanding our "loyalty" in the form of silence, some of the people we are closest to have coerced us into collaborating with lies or with myths. We cannot, however, respond to this coercion by rushing into print. We must examine our responsibility as writers to those we write about, even while holding fast to our truths."

Judith Barrington, "Writing the Memoir"